Last night, the Chicago Bears won in San Francisco for the first time since around the time of my birth because the 49ers quarterback said a bad word and a woman whose talent is cup drumming won Miss America. #ThanksObama #ObamasAmerica
The NFL is now flagging players 15 yards for “inappropriate language.” I shit you not. I mean, I guess it’s not surprising, considering the new NFL rules appear to be flags for everyone, all the time, for all the things. Blinking? FLAG. 5 yards. Sneezing? FLAG. 10 yards. Existing? FLAG. 15 yards. I’ve been seeing all these goddamn think pieces all week from whiny Leftists about how we should all “boycott the NFL,” because apparently there are people who watch sports based on the moral character of the players, rather than to enjoy the game. (P.S. If the main crux of your anti-NFL argument is “OMG, football promotes masculinity!!” you’re an idiot.) If you don’t want to watch the NFL then don’t watch it…but shut up about it because there’s a 99.9% chance you’re a hypocrite. Definitely keep listening to popular music, which is filled with fine upstanding people of character, NFL boycotters. And, as we all know, there are no scumbags or criminals in literature or Hollywood. Guess you’re going to have to boycott all the things. Oh well. Have a fun life. Seriously, the same people who get on their moral high horse over the NFL still watch Polanski films, listen to Chris Brown’s music and adore Woody Allen and Bill Clinton. So, please stop. The reason people will stop watching the NFL is because liberals have already begun to turn it into a ballerina dance company for little princesses. Pretty soon they’ll be wearing tutus and tiaras and hugging each other. This constant flag bullshit is a disgrace. “There are four flags on the field right now,” and the sarcastic “Believe it or not, there was no flag on that play” were things that were regularly heard on NFL broadcasts yesterday (especially the SNF game). Yes, football is damaging to the body. Players are aware of this and it’s their decision whether they want to take the risk and play or not. Ruining the game isn’t the answer. We don’t have to protect everyone from themselves. Grown-ups can make decisions. People know smoking is bad for them, but if they want to smoke let them smoke. Let people be adults, take risks and make their own decisions, good or bad.
If you wanted to see another example of American cultural decline last night, you could switch over to ABC where a woman whose talent is flipping/tapping a red cup was crowned Miss America. Oh, and the graphics person at ABC doesn’t know how to spell Jane Austen and apparently couldn’t be bothered to look it up, as you can see at the end of the video linked above. I mean, I kind of give Miss New York credit for, in essence, saying, “Fuck it, this whole thing is a joke. Why should I bother to learn a real skill?” It fits right in with our new cultural norm of unemployed gender studies majors living in their parents’ basements, crying about how the mere existence of the NFL “reinforces the patriarchy.” We had a good run, America.