Monthly Archives: July 2012

Image of the Day


Possibly the coolest university dorm in the world? It’s in Copenhagen, Denmark. Check out the details and more photos here.

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Links I Like – History Edition

Pompeiian graffiti was raunchy in a classy kind of way. Example: From the Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio: “Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!” See what I mean? Click the link for more.

An 18th century mutiny may explain migraine headaches, according to this Mental Floss article.

The history of pizza, which was actually made popular by Americans after a long historical spell as a “poor man’s meal.” It was mocked by the Italian elite for centuries, until Queen Margherita became a fan.

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This Week in “Shit I Can’t Believe/Let’s All Have Some Common Sense”

Shit I Can’t Believe

Gaius Julius Bloomberg, tyrant of the Republic of New York, has decided that he needs to control breast milk. Appropriate for a man who can’t wean himself off the teat of power and micromanagement. In a terrible-sounding program called Latch On NYC, headed by a terrible-sounding person called Thomas Farley, the idea is to make infant formula super difficult to obtain. They’re actually going to hide it. Because, after all, Bloomberg is an expert on breast feeding and has himself conducted all those studies that without a doubt show how breast feeding makes your baby into an uber-healthy, giant-brained, super human, while infant formula turns babies into window-licking mutants. A world under Bloomberg would be George Orwell’s worst nightmare, a beautiful Utopia where all people drink soda out of tiny sippy cups, breast feed their children, ride bikes with two feet on the pedals at all times, never sit on an overturned milk crate and all kinds of other nonsensical rules because Bloomberg knows better than you. About everything. I look forward to the day this asshole is voted out of office, or is at least cornered on the playground and taught a lesson. I still believe we inhabit a world where the bullies and the bores need not always win. New York prove me right, please, and vote against the absurd measures of control this little man is exerting.

American gymnast Jordyn Weiber had the fourth highest scores of the entire gymnastics competition Sunday night and because of the absurd new rule that every country can only have two athletes in the all-around, she didn’t make it. Fourth highest scores. Of the entire competition. The new rule was supposedly made because Romania won all three all-around medals one year. So what? This is the Olympics. Whoever is the best, WINS. You get your fair shot in getting to the Games and competing. If other athletes are better, faster, stronger than you, well that’s how it goes. Don’t punish the talented. Let’s not practice socialism in sports. It’s like trying to use a croissant as a dildo. It doesn’t get the job done and it makes a fucking mess. The cruel irony of trying to make something “fair” and in the process making it COMPLETELY FUCKING UNFAIR, is ruining my day. Now we get to watch gymnasts from countries like Suckistan, the United Union of Terribleness and I-Can’t-Stay-On-The-BeamVille, while the best gymnasts in the world sit on the sidelines.

Staying on the Jordyn’s gymnastics note, what kind of awful, grief-exploiting people work at NBC? The poor girl just watched her dreams dissolve for no good reason, tried to get out of the spotlight to have a moment to settle her emotions and is promptly dragged (almost literally) back in front of the cameras. “Oh no no little girl, you get back out here and fucking cry for the American people, who love nothing more than a good reality show where people get upset and embarrassed.” Then they made her do an interview, which she handled with the poise and courage we should be proud of in any athlete, especially a young person, and one who is representing our country. I know I would have probably lost my shit when the interviewer asked me how I was feeling. “Well, I feel like opening up a puppy and devouring its soul, ripping the balance beam in half with my bare hands and bludgeoning to death the people who made up this stupid rule, then hanging myself from the goddamn London Bridge. And HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?!?”

Chicago has decided that the school day needs to be longer. As someone who has been a teacher, I say it absolutely does. The teachers, or rather the teachers’ unions, are saying no, we will not teach for an extra hour. So instead of fighting them, the city is giving in and is going to hire more teachers for that extra little sliver of time. When asked where they will get the money from to hire these teachers, the response was basically, “well, fuck, if I know.” I can’t even start a rant on this because I would never stop. Oh yeah, and the teachers for the extra hours are coming from a pool of fired teachers. Seriously, watch “Waiting for Superman,” and tell me the biggest problem in this country isn’t education. I dare you.

Police lost the keys to the Olympic soccer stadium. Cue giggle. Seriously, how does that happen? But no worries, the locks have since been changed.

On another Olympic note, the 7/7 Memorial moment for those who lost their lives in that tragic terrorist attack was deemed not important enough to the American audience and got edited out of the Opening Ceremony telecast by the dickheads at NBC. I also found it infuriating that there was no moment/memorial/mention for the Israeli athletes who were murdered by terrorists 40 years ago at the Games. The loss of innocent life shouldn’t be under the lock and key of that terrible truth prison known as “political correctness.” Whatever one’s opinion about Israel, I think we can all agree that was a tragic event, worthy of at least a moment of silence. Shame on the IOC for refusing to acknowledge them and shame on London for capitulating.

Meanwhile, things in Mali get worse, as an unwed couple gets publicly stoned to death for doing that very natural thing called, having sex. The world continues to lazily watch a formerly peaceful, democratic country go up in flames. Meanwhile, I’ve set my timer for when, a few years down the road, we have to send troops in to root out the new terrorist haven that has been created and people say, “oh yeah, maybe we should have paid attention to that.”

The Russian punk rock group Pussy Riot is on trial today in Russia for what we in America like to call, a little exercising of that essential liberty known as free speech. I must say though, if I ever get arrested, “hooliganism” is probably the most fun sounding charge you can come up with. The Russian Orthodox Church is super offended because the girls sang about how the leader of their country sucks while moving their bodies suggestively (also known as dancing) in a church wearing ski masks, as we all should do at some point in our lives. Meanwhile, the secular, free world rolls their eyes and I’m trying to find their record. That’s some rockin’ shit. Move over Spice Girls.

Let’s All Have Some Common Sense

Maybe it’s more humane to save the life of a teenage girl than a two-month-old fetus. Let’s all have some common sense. But this is the sticky crap you get into when you have strict anti-abortion laws. The Dominican Republic almost decided to let a teenage girl suffer and probably die before even giving birth (which, by the way, would probably kill the baby too, and at a stage when its brain and vital organs are actually developed), last week. The girl has leukemia and needs potentially life-saving chemotherapy treatment immediately, which would result in the termination of her pregnancy. Luckily, people started freaking out about it and the doctors decided to get over their fear of punishment and just save her life. She started receiving treatment a day or two ago.

Let’s have a little lesson in the First Amendment. It protects you from government action suppressing your right to free speech. It does not protect you from criticism or from private citizens making consumption choices based on your speech. As a consumer, you can decide not to eat Chick-Fil-A because you think the man in charge over there is a douchebag. It’s his right to be a douchebag and it’s your right to take your business elsewhere if you choose. Naturally, liberal mayors have taken this too far. Chicago, Boston and Philadelphia are trying to ban Chick-Fil-A from building restaurants there. And that is something you cannot do. It is an abuse of government power. Let’s face it. We all consume products that are made by people we probably wouldn’t like if we met them. I don’t buy sandwiches from Chick-Fil-A because I don’t want to give money to a guy who I think is a jerk. I refuse to buy or receive diamonds as a gift because of the horrors of the blood diamond business and the fact that the whole thing is a huge scam. Diamonds are not actually rare or expensive. But I still have an iPhone, even though Apple uses Chinese labor and I still eat chocolate even though I know human rights abuses are involved in the production of that. Because sadly, human and/or animal abuse is probably involved at some level in nearly every product we consume. We can’t boycott everything. But we can use our First Amendment right to free speech, to point out atrocities, bigotry and unfairness where we see them and then let the consumer decide. Not the government. The Left and the Right (see Huckabee and Santorum’s Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day nonsense) are both being annoying about this which makes me miss Hitchens oh so much.

Side note: Rahm Emmanuel touted Chicago’s “values” as the reason for attempting to ban the restaurant. Mayor, please. I love Chicago. I’m from there. But values are not the city’s strong suit. It’s the murder capital of the country and has the most corrupt politics in the nation. If you dressed every criminal up in an orange jumpsuit, the city would look like the inside of a Cheetos bag.


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Music Monday

A little Beck for your Monday 🙂

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July 31, 2012 · 12:40 am

Your Daily Dose of Awesome

I can’t decide if this is cute or not (can walruses be cute?), but I know it’s awesome. A walrus in Turkey has some sweet dance moves to Michael Jackson.

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July 29, 2012 · 10:56 pm

Around the World

An interesting feature on Tuzla, the Salt Lake City of Bosnia?

The teddy bear aerial assault over Belarus has been confirmed.

We finally found out that Kim Jong Un is married…since 2009. Here are pictures of him looking at things and clapping, as North Korean leaders are wont to do. Blaine Harden wants to remind everyone that it’s not funny. And he’s right. 

Something that is funny, is this computer virus that has hit Iranian nuclear plants. It shuts down computers and then plays AC/DC at full blast for hours on end. Brilliant.

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Image of the Day


How many apples does it take to light a lamp? About 300, according to experimenter/photographer Caleb Charland. Find out how he did it here.

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