Monthly Archives: January 2013

James Joyce in Trieste, his interesting carousel of jobs and his moves to keep his family safe during the First World War. The essay is an excerpt from a book-in-progress.

Another interesting book on my radar speculates whether love (making) or work exhausted the great Raphael.

The case was made with typical robustness by Nietzsche in The Will to Power, possibly while looking at a print of Ingres’s painting. He was equally dismissive of the idea that Raphael indulged in casual sex. Great artists have to be physically strong, with plenty of sexual energy – “without a certain overheating of the sexual system a Raphael is unthinkable”. Yet despite the artist’s susceptibility to sensory stimulation and intoxication – “how wise it is at times to be a little tipsy!” – he is usually chaste. His dominant instinct “does not permit him to expend himself in any casual way”. So Raphael must have kept La Fornarina waiting while he painted his dear Madonnas. Picasso, in a series of twenty-five prints on the subject made in 1968, would square the circle. Made in the comic style of Japanese erotic prints, they depict Raphael simultaneously painting and penetrating La Fornarina, with Michelangelo and the Pope looking on, amazed (and impotent) bystanders.

The history of the goose step…and how DARPA can identify you by your walk.

In truth, it’s not a very sensible way to get around (goose-stepping injuries weren’t uncommon among soldiers), but it was taught to instill discipline among the troops. More so, it served well in ceremonial public displays — to demonstrate a leader could turn men into machines. The step invariably involved boots brought down in unison, smartly and loudly, giving a platoon the invincible sound of a well-lubricated machine. Message: Resistance is futile. For the past century or so, the goose step has been used chiefly in totalitarian regimes — that is, states where it’s exceedingly inadvisable to laugh at the military. (George Orwell wrote in 1940, “Its ugliness is part of its essence, for what it is saying is ‘Yes, I am ugly, and you daren’t laugh at me.’”) Today, the goose step is about as commonly seen as the Hitler’s toothbrush mustache, although it does live on vestigially among some ceremonial guards (Greece’s parliament, Moscow’s Tomb of the Unknown Soldier) and in a faraway, possibly mythical, land called North Korea.

Jeb Boniakowski dreams of an enormous McDonald’s complex in Times Square called “McWorld,” which would represent all the different McDonald’s menus around the world. We have the same dream, Jeb.

Spam and eggs from Hawaii, lobster rolls (that’s The McHomard in Montreal!) and blueberry shakes from Maine. Montreal also has poutine. (Poutine with McDonald’s FRIES?!!? THAT IS PROBABLY CRAZY!!!) I could go on and on about the mega menu. I could explain how it will look like the fast food place in Cloud Atlas the movie except grander. But you can imagine all that. You got the basic idea. You would just gaze upon the Big Menu for hours. The Wasabi Filet O’Fish. The Pizza McPuff. The McSatay. The Cypriot Shrimp Burger. The Croque McDo.

Well, now that I’m thinking about cheese, check out the prose you can find in some awesome cheese shops, thanks to cheesemongers: our modern poets.

…a sign-browsing stroll through Fairway will reveal many delights, like this billing for Queijo de Serpa: “It is still made only at night, I am led to believe, as it was when I last visited the cheesemaker, and what I haven’t told you is Serpa’s texture and flavor are like sex. There’s just no other way to describe the effect this cheese has on me. Even though I barely remember sex.”…Take his less-than-rousing pitch for an aged mimolette: “It was Charles de Gaulle’s favorite cheese, which figures. He was an army man, and God knows army men are not too particular about what they put in their mouths. Even aged a year, mimolette is not exactly startling.”

If only all pro-lifers had this sense of humor. As the article notes though, the logic is faulty because Neville Longbottom. Duh.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this a hundred times yet or not but it is the 200th anniversary of Pride and Prejudice and I will celebrate all year long. Here are some ways other people are celebrating; here’s why it’s one of the best novels ever; here’s a tribute to the lukewarm “romance” between Charlotte and Mr. Collins, the latter being possibly the most annoying character in literary history, and therefore, a gift to us all; here’s an awesome Guardian piece with a variety of writers analyzing a variety of characters; 10 reasons the novel still rocks after 200 years; and here’s a collection of the best P & P covers.

And lastly, ten things not to say after sex, according to Lady Chatterley’s Lover.