Illinois bureaucrats stop tiny menace who likes to bake cupcakes for people and give her earnings to charity, thank god. Somebody had to. We can’t have kids using their skills to become entrepreneurs because then they won’t be reliant on the state.
The Health Department of Madison County, Illinois on Sunday shut down a baking operation run by an 11-year-old girl. Chloe Stirling may be young, but she’s already developed serious culinary and small business skills. She began an enterprise, called “Hey, Cupcake!,” out of her family’s kitchen two years ago. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the sixth grader earns around $200 a month selling her baked goods. Stirling hopes to use her income to one day open her own bakery. Her mother, Heather, also offered to match the money Stirling makes to buy a car when she turns 16. Additionally, “she has donated many to charitable events, including a fundraiser for a student with cancer and, most recently, taking some to residents at a senior care center,” writes the Belleville News-Democrat. The desserts didn’t sit well with the local government, though. The health department called Stirling’s parents and demanded that the girl cease operations, because she was violating the Illinois State Food Service Code. Stirling lacked the necessary permit and the kitchen wasn’t properly licensed. “The guy told me I either had to buy her a bakery or put in a second kitchen (in the house),” Stirling’s mother said.
Ambition? What’s that? Dreams? You need a permit for those in today’s America, kid.
In which Kevin Williamson compares bureaucrats to space monkeys…
On Tuesday, the president of these United States called for an end to the “rancorous argument over the proper size of the federal government,” so that he might move forward with his economic agenda uninhibited by “stale political arguments.” It was an interesting moment. The president’s childlike faith in his own ability to direct resources according to his own vision is almost touching in its way, though when the actual costs are accounted for it is terrifying…Progressives like to frame the argument about the size and scope of government as Thomas Hobbes vs. Ayn Rand: Every step toward decentralization and deregulation is in their view a step toward chaos, the war of all against all. To the progressive, there can be no meaningful move toward liberty (save in the case of sexual license), only a dangerous slide toward anarchy. There is some irony in that: Progressives fear what they call “Social Darwinism,” which to the extent that it ever has existed as a coherent worldview has been associated with progressives, who translated it into policy in the form of horrific eugenics campaigns and forcible sterilizations. Progressives are smart people who never learn: Their characteristic fallacy is the belief that if a little bit of government is a good thing, then more must be better. Again, the level of understanding is childlike…Well administered, a little government is an excellent thing. It protects property, sees to the enforcement of contracts, defends the borders, keeps the streets safe…How much government is too much when you’re trying to steer extraordinarily complex markets, such as the ones involved in electricity generation? In that case, $1 is too much, because it is $1 spent on something that government not only should not be doing but in fact cannot do. From Soviet central planning to the Spanish green-energy racket to the U.S. housing bubble, one of the inescapable lessons of economic history is not that government should not attempt to steer industries but that government cannot steer them in any predictable and productive fashion. “Should not attempt” is a second-order conclusion, deriving from the fundamental condition of “cannot.”…I have spent a fair amount of time around elected officials, regulators, and the like, and when I see them, I think: space monkeys. The first monkey to make it into space was called Albert II, who went up on a V2 rocket. Albert II survived the space flight but not, unlucky little beast, the parachute failure that followed. We primates are in a sense one big family, and the first of us to see the majesty of our little corner of the universe from a vantage point beyond the surly bonds of Earth was a rhesus monkey, the stars laid out like a trail of diamonds before his uncomprehending eyes. The complexity of even the simplest markets is as far beyond the understanding of any politician or bureaucracy — or any single human mind — as astrophysics is beyond a rhesus monkey. Politicians steer the economy like Albert II steered that rocket. It isn’t just that they don’t know which levers to pull at what time — they’re clever enough — but that the thing itself is so incomprehensibly complex as to be effectively unknowable to them.
Oh for fuck’s sake. Rutgers University is offering a class on Beyonce. Societal end times, people.
Man pleads guilty to smuggling nearly 40,000 piranhas into New York.
Weather map of distant star features molten iron rain.
43 California Obamacare navigators are convicted felons, whose crimes include forgery and welfare fraud. And you’re supposed to give your most intimate personal and financial info to them. Unreal.
Cambridge University spent three million pounds on wine last year. Seems like a good use of funds to me.
New Zealand man fights off shark with knife, stitches up own leg, goes to pub to have a drink.
The Pentagon has spent over $200 million trying to teach Afghan soldiers how to read…and they still can’t read.
The United States government has spent $200 million on a literacy program for the Afghan National Security Forces (ANSF) over the past five years but half the Afghan army still can’t read or write according to a new report. “Literacy of the Afghan National Security Forces is of critical importance,” said John F. Sopko, the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR). “We’ve spent $200 million on this — yet we don’t even know how many Afghan security forces are literate or how well the program worked. That’s deeply disturbing.” The goal of the program was to make 100 percent of the Afghan National Security Forces (ANSF) able to read at a first grade level and 50 percent literate at a third grade level by the time U.S. forces are due to withdraw from Afghanistan at the end of 2014. But officials told SIGAR that that attaining those goals with the Afghan army, which is set to grow to 352,000, may be “unrealistic” and unattainable.”…In addition, many of the soldiers who have been educated at U.S. taxpayer expense are no longer in the Afghan Army. The ANSF has a remarkably high attrition rate, between 30 and 50 percent a year. As of Feb. 2013, roughly half of the ANSF was still illiterate, according to some of the officials in charge of the literacy training.
Here’s a bra (made by the Japanese, of course) that only unhooks if the woman is truly in love. Sounds pretty fucking stupid to me.
Here’s that Franz Kafka video game you’ve been waiting for.
The ancient Greeks were quite the grill masters.