In case you’re waiting in line to see Star Wars…

and you need to be set straight.

The deep lesson of Star Wars is that the Empire is good… The Force, it turns out, is an inherited, genetic trait. If you don’t have the blood, you don’t get the Force. Which makes the Jedi not a democratic militia, but a royalist Swiss guard…The Empire is a meritocracy. The Empire runs academies throughout the galaxy (Han Solo begins his career at an Imperial academy), and those who show promise are promoted, often rapidly…The Empire doesn’t want slaves or destruction or “evil.” It wants order.

In all of the time we spend observing the Rebel Alliance, we never hear of their governing strategy or their plans for a post-Imperial universe. All we see are plots and fighting. Their victory over the Empire doesn’t liberate the galaxy–it turns the galaxy into Somalia writ large: dominated by local warlords who are answerable to no one. Which makes the rebels–Lucas’s heroes–an unimpressive crew of anarchic royals who wreck the galaxy so that Princess Leia can have her tiara back.

I’ll take the Empire.

If Jonathan Last can’t convince you, Sonny Bunch will:

On one side of the ledger you have a meritocratic force for order and stability led by a more-or-less benevolent dictatorship that seeks to maintain galactic unity, facilitate trade and head off a nasty intergalactic conflict before too many people can die. On the other, you have a band of religious terrorists whose leaders include a drug smuggler in the pocket of slavers and a pair of incestuous twins working to restore a broken republic held hostage by special interests that tolerated its citizens being treated as chattel.

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