Afternoon Links

The battle for Picasso’s multi-billion dollar empire

This whole article is like some sort of cathartic suicide note from people who hate themselves. Resentment, envy, revenge, self-hatred, wish-fulfillment. That’s all Trumpism is about. Such pathetic people. Grow up.

Awesome

“I hear plenty of Republican tweeters and even commentators saying: ‘Chill out.’ ‘Get on board the Trump train or get run over!’ ‘You can’t argue with success.’ For the record, my responses are ‘No,’ ‘Kiss my ass,’ and ‘You bet I can,’ in that order.”

This is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard

These children should all be fed to hungry lions.

I would say I find this impossible to believe, but I learned five years ago to stop saying that with regards to this administration.

Tar. Feathers.

Hey, look, Donald Trump screwed people via a pyramid scheme!
*polls go up five points*

Mr. Darcy’s shirt is coming to America

This man is my hero.

An Israeli man who was stabbed multiple times Tuesday afternoon in a terror attack in Petah Tikva managed to remove the knife from his neck and use it to stab and neutralize his attacker

Awesome: New puppet musical brings out the dark side of Beatrix Potter

He’s just the worst.

“5th grade social justice teacher”

A girl can dream

…with voting open to most adults, and with politicians and celebrities and Hollywood galvanizing the barely sentient hordes to intrude upon the electoral process of a nation they know nothing about, we’ve been subjected to a long succession of tyrants and buffoons in the White House and other elected offices. This all culminated in the record number of chumps who flocked to the ballot box in 2008 and settled on an obscure, corrupt, cliche-spewing left-wing radical named Barack Obama. And now many of those same negligent voters have brought us near the precipice of electing the likes of Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, or Bernie Sanders…Enough is enough, I say. Not that it matters what I say. As a basically informed voter what I say matters less and less with each election cycle. That’s the whole point, after all. Those in power aim to cancel out the Informed Vote by drowning it in a sea of stupidity and self-interest. They back up their dump trucks and bury the Discerning Minority under a mountain of ignorance and apathy. To make matters worse, the whole dastardly conspiracy is disguised with righteous platitudes about “civic duty” and “honoring the Constitution.” They encourage half-awake voters to close their eyes and throw a dart in whatever the direction the wind is blowing, and then they hand out “I Voted” stickers and send the semi-cognizant citizens home with an unearned sense of accomplishment.

If you think planes fly because of pixie dust, you don’t belong in the cockpit. If you think chicken can be consumed if it’s cooked medium rare, you don’t belong in the kitchen. If you think the phrase “branches of government” has something to do with arboriculture, you don’t belong in the voting booth. This isn’t a debatable proposition. If you lack even basic, fundamental knowledge about our government, our laws, and the current political scene, you should not be anywhere near a polling station on voting day.

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